As South African as biltong and Mrs Balls
Was South Africa ever without a Wimpy? You can almost imagine General Smuts pulling over for a Wimpy burger while waiting for the rest of his commando on their slower horses to catch up. But is the Wimpy breakfast still as hearty as ever?

The hearty farm breakfast: Hashbrown Splashdown, R26
What did it look like? Promising: two eggs, lots of bacon, a hash brown potato patty, a slice of fried tomato and two half-slices of toast.
And the taste? The menu says you can order just about any form of egg: scrambled, sunny side up, over easy, over hard, hard-boiled, soft-boiled, poached… I asked for “medium”, but the egg yolk was running all over the plate like golden lava. The tomato wasn’t cooked. The bacon was crispy and perfect, however. The potato cake was comforting, like pancakes on a rainy day, but I’d have liked another slice of toast.
Would you recommend it to friends? Yes. Despite the small lapse, it’s good value for money. – SM
Score: 7

The sandwich: Sensational Sandwich, R20
What did it look like? What do you mean? It looked like a toasted bacon-and-egg sandwich, of course.
And the taste? Really great! After a night of hard driving my instinct is always to order a Dagwood – it fills you up and keeps the kitchen staff on their toes – but I haven’t had such a nice bacon-and-egg sarmie in a while: The egg was delicious and just the way I like it, the bacon crisp and the bread fresh and sweet.
Would you recommend it to friends? For sure, as soon as I’ve finished chewing! – AvW
Score: 9

The healthy option: Shape Breakfast, R27
What did it look like? Like an alien life form. And it was a hearty portion!
And the taste? It’s the last thing I would ordinarily order at a Wimpy, but it’s a tasty combination of yoghurt, fruit and muesli with a dash of honey. And just because it’s healthy it doesn’t mean you get a Nicole Ritchie-sized portion. It came with a large dollop of yoghurt and oodles of fresh fruit (although the pineapple might have come from a can). I would have liked a few more spoonfuls of muesli.
Would you recommend it to friends? To my vegetarian friends, yes. – JM
Score: 8
 
Something to drink?
Wimpy filter coffee (R8)
It’s hard to fault with this tried-and-tested brew, which has been fuelling long-distance lorry drivers for years. Ours arrived at the table lukewarm, though.
Score: 7

Wimpy decaf (R11)
Weak and tepid.
Score: 5

Fruit juice (R11,45)
Mango: sweet, thick, delicious.
Score: 8

Service:
Juliana, our waitress, was friendly and snappy. The meals were on the table in 13 minutes.
Score: 7½

The verdict:
A Wimpy breakfast is always a safe bet. The restaurant was clean, the service fast and friendly, and the prices reasonable. You just wonder when Wimpy is going to get rid of that pink vinegary tomato sauce.

Average: 7

Breakfast with the Apache
The Spur is better known for hamburgers and ceramic Indians than for breakfast, but in some places it’s the only place you’ll find a decent brekkie.

The hearty farm breakfast: Drifter R25
What did it look like? Exceptionally hearty. You even get a portion of chips with the two eggs, bacon and two slices of bread, with a sprig of parsley for garnish.
And the taste? There are a few certainties in life, apart from death and taxes – being served soft, runny eggs in a restaurant even if you asked for over easy is one of them. The bacon was limp and grey. The chips were delicious, even if chips with breakfast seemed a bit weird. A fresh, crispy chip is one of humankind’s greatest inventions alongside the wheel, paper and gunpowder.
Would you recommend it to friends? Mmm… only if the guy leading the egg frying team was more on the ball. – AvW
Score: 6

The sandwich: Sunrise Toastie R25
What did it look like? Promising, with a generous portion of chips.
And the taste? This may sound obvious, but the secret of a good egg sandwich lies in the eggs. If they’re too soft, the yolk ends up on your shirt. This Sunrise Toastie was nice and firm. The bacon could have spent more time on the grill – at least a minute or three. The whole-wheat bread almost made up for the bacon transgression, as did the generous portion of slap chips, but considering the price, you’d expect a perfect toasted sandwich.
Would you recommend it to friends? Only if they asked. – JM
Score: 6

The healthy option: Salad Valley R25
What did it look like? The Spur doesn’t have health breakfasts, so I headed for the Salad Valley and supplemented it with a few biscuits, some cheese, a bran muffin and fresh fruit salad. As in my student days, I piled the plate high to get my R25’s worth.
And the taste? The fruit was fresh but the variety scant: pawpaw, spanspek and pineapple. The muffin was cold and clearly not freshly baked. The cheese and biscuits reminded me more of coffee after a grand dinner than breakfast!
Would you recommend it to friends? It was okay, but I think I ordered it at the wrong time of the day. – SM
Score: 6

Something to drink?
Spur filter coffee (R10, refill for R4,95)
If you want to stay awake, this is the coffee to go for. It’s stronger than a Tour de France cyclist’s urine sample.
Score: 7

Spur decaf (R10)
It’s very expensive for weak instant coffee.
Score: 2

Fruit juice (R11)
Mango: Sweet, thick, delicious. Does Spur know the same mango farmer as Wimpy?
Score: 8

Service:
Nazeem was helpful and obliging. Our meals were served in 17 minutes.
Score: 8

The verdict:
You don’t go to Loftus to watch ballet and you don’t go to the Spur for haute cuisine. Yet it seems as if the Spur’s breakfast team isn’t quite as sharp as the dinner team. If it weren’t for the All Gold tomato sauce and marmalade, our score would have dropped to below 6.

Average: 6

Good and honest
You’ll find a Steers at every Shell Ultra City ever since they took over all the former Whistle Stop restaurants. At Steers we could only order takeaways.

The hearty farm breakfast: Classic Breakfast R33
What did it look like? Good! Two eggs, bacon, a slice of toast, a hash brown potato patty and some caramelised onion.
And the taste? You could wrap the potato patty in a serviette and keep it in case your car runs out of oil, and the onion tasted like bredie. But, ladies and gentlemen, the master fryer got the eggs right – over easy, not too soft, not too hard, perfect! The whole thing comes in a neat polystyrene box, which would be difficult to handle if you were driving, but perfect for a co-pilot to munch on his or her lap.
Would you recommend it to friends? Why not? Like the Wimpy, you get what you expect. It is a bit pricey, though. – JM
Score: 6½

The sandwich: Breakfast on the Run R22
What did it look like? On the picture on the wall, this breakfast pita looked delicious, with perfectly cooked bacon and appetising eggs. Alas, the real-life item was more modest.
And the taste? The eggs were flipped and well done, the wad of yellow cheese was
generous, the pita slightly toasted and a slice of fresh tomato rounded it all off nicely. But this branch of Steers had only macon (beef masquerading as bacon). It’s just not the same! This works very well as a takeaway breakfast. You can hold it in one hand – so you can eat and point out the sights at the same time.
Would you recommend it to friends? Yes, it’s a hearty breakfast, but I like real bacon. – SM
Score: 6½

The healthy option: Two Chicken Breasts with Green Salad R42
What did it look like? This Steers branch – mercifully – didn’t have a health breakfast, so I could choose a bit more adventurously: I picked chicken breasts with salad. The salad portion was generous and fresh. The chicken breasts had a splash of tikka sauce and looked a bit like two miniature piglets that had been rolling in the mud.
And the taste? You won’t normally catch me ordering a salad before 11 am, but it was much nicer than I expected! The lettuce and tomato were fresh and sweet, the olives delicious and the feta creamy. As is the case with all chicken breasts, these were dead ordinary. The tikka sauce probably came out of a yellow plastic bottle.
Would you recommend it to friends? The salad, yes, but these chickens didn’t really have impressive breasts. – AvW
Score: 6½

Something to drink?
Steers filter coffee (R9)
Three cheers for Steers! The coffee arrived very hot, with a nice bit of froth on top.
Score: 9

Steers decaf
No decaf. Oh, no!
Score: 0

Fruit juice (R8)
Nothing wrong with an ice-cold pure TruFruit guava juice in a handy screw-top bottle.
Score: 8

Service:
Karin gets an extra point for her cheeky T-shirt! (Sorry, I already have a husband) She brought us our takeaway breakfast. The meals were ready within 14 minutes.
Score: 8½

The verdict:
We would rather have ordered a hamburger, because that’s what Steers is really good at, but the breakfast was nice and honest.

Average: 6½

Proudly South African
We have to admit: We had preconceived ideas about BJ’s. You can’t trust a place that has orange, purple, green, maroon, black and red in the décor, right? And why do the pictures on the menu look like something taken with a Carte Blanche hidden camera? 

The hearty farm breakfast: Vrystater Breakfast R27
What did it look like? I picked this breakfast because I thought the corn fritters would make a nice change from the usual hash brown patty, but my fritters arrived burnt on the outside and a bit raw on the inside. I also wanted my eggs over easy, but they arrived soft and sunny side up. The chef may have been in the kitchen, but his attention was definitely somewhere else.
And the taste? Warts and all, I still think this is a whopper of a breakfast. The corn fritters would have been delicious if made right, and the toast and bacon were done to perfection.
Would you recommend it to friends? Yes, everyone should experience BJ’s at least once. – JM
Score: 7

The sandwich: Bacon & Egg Sandwich R22
What did it look like? It’s lovely when a sandwich is toasted with butter on the outside, the way only a café can make it. A few slap chips and a bit of green made it an attractive little plate. It looks like the kind of food you’d get in the dining car on a train.
And the taste? Hard to say, because I devoured it before I could think about it! The egg and bacon were well matched – one soft but firm, the other nice and crisp.
Would you recommend it to friends? Yes! The BJ’s menu says, “It’s impossible not to love someone who makes toast for you.” That’s so true! – SM
Score: 8½

The healthy option: Health Breakfast R27
What did it look like? Yummy! It helped that it was 9am and I was hungry, because it was a small mountain of fresh fruit covered with a big blob of yoghurt and a little island of muesli in the middle.
And the taste? Much nicer than I anticipated! The yoghurt was sweet and the spanspek, pineapple, apple and mango delicious, and there was a bunch of raisins doing the sugar’sjob. BJ’s doesn’t skimp on the muesli either. Bravo!
Would you recommend it to friends? Look, it’s only yoghurt and fruit and muesli, but I’d definitely recommend it. – AvW
Score: 8

Something to drink?
BJ’s filter coffee (R8)
It’s a good cup of coffee. And it’s hot.
Score: 7

BJ’s decaf
No decaf. No, man!
Score: 0

Fruit juice (R11)
Mango: sweet, thick, delicious. That mango farmer’s produce gets around.
Score: 8

Service
Enia is witty and knows what’s what. We had to wait 15 minutes to be attended to, but our meals arrived 13 minutes later.
Score: 7

The verdict
The designer who came up with BJ’s branding might have been colour-blind, but there’s something truly South African about the place. Everyone should give it a try. The food is honest (and sometimes slightly burnt) and the service nonchalant, so you feel right at home.

Average: 6½