Andre Smith is one of a few tour operators who can take you on a boat trip up the Kowie River.
Three children come barrelling towards me as if I’m a loose ball in a ruck as I walk into the River’s Edge B&B in Port Alfred. The Kowie River is so close that if you were to reverse your car carelessly you could land in it.
It strikes me how comfortable these children are around strangers. Then again, children who grow up in coastal towns tend to be rather easy-going, I muse as their mother, Karen White, shoos them to the car and hands me the key to my room.
Later that night, the barman in the Snorting Grunter confirms Port Alfred’s laid-back atmosphere. It’s as if things take longer to happen here, says André Smuts, whose great-grandfather was the Jan Smuts. André has a day job too; he’s a scuba diving instructor. The tips at the bar don’t hurt.
However, things are too chilled in Port Alfred for André, which is why he’s moving to Pretoria soon. Only during holiday season does it get busy.
“I might come back here when I’ve retired,” he says as he saunters back behind the bar to pour us another drink. “Yes, I think I will.
”PORT ALFRED LOOKS as if it developed quickly over a short period. You can see this in the Royal Alfred Marina, which sits next to the river mouth and doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the town. It looks more like something that you’d find in Florida, USA.
There’s something deeply comforting in the way the Kowie River flows to the sea, through the town and under the well-known arch bridge. Small boats can navigate nearly 40km upstream.
The town’s history is entwined with that of the 1820 Settlers. Things really started happening here after the dangerous river mouth was dredged during the mid-1800s to make it safer for boats and ships.
At one time it was named Port Kowie, then Port Frances, and in 1860 it was named after Queen Victoria and Prince Albert’s second son, Prince Alfred.
The prince, who was on tour in South Africa at the time, had planned to stop by for the renaming ceremony, but never made it because he decided to hunt elephants in the Knysna forest instead. Apparently, the 16-yearold Alfred was not a terribly good shot: Although several elephants were wounded, only two were killed during the hunt.
I DRIVE THROUGH town looking for a place to eat. It’s sunny, but in places the roads are flooded. So is the lawn outside what looks like the town hall. And the parking area at the Ocean Basket and the Boardwalk restaurant. A burst pipe, maybe? Perhaps five?
“Nah, it’s just the spring tide,” a waitress tells me later at The Boardwalk Restaurant. When there’s an unusually high tide, the level of the river rises and pools appear all over town. A few anxious tourists take pictures.
Aren’t the locals worried? Apparently not! They calmly carry on with their everyday business.
Such unperturbed placidity is one of the things that make Port Alfred so attractive to visitors.
1. Cruise on the Kowie
“There aren’t crocodiles in the river any more,” tour guide André Smith tells the group of school children on his boat. “The sharks chased them away.”
The children cast worried glances at one another, but André is only kidding.
He is one of a few tour operators who can take you on a boat trip up the Kowie River. We first sail past the marina, where André points out the newly laid foundations of the home of Vuyo Mbuli, the presenter on the SABC2 programme Morning Live. They say a plot on “Millionaires’ Row” can fetch up to R1.8 million.
A seal lounging on a jetty lifts its head, half interested and half irritable. “That’s your typical Eastern Cape attitude,” André says. “Relax for just a little longer…”
We sail about 7 km up the river to the outskirts of town, where it seems another cluster housing complex is about to be built, and then we turn around.
Cost: R60 per adult and R30 per child for an hour-and-a-half trip. The price of a sunset cruise is negotiable (you can sail up to 21 km upstream and braai if you want to). Contact: Outdoor Focus 046 624 4432
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2. Cycle… on water!
They call it a hydrobike. It’s basically a bicycle frame mounted on two pontoons. You steer with handlebars, but there aren’t any gears to help you out if you get caught in a fresh headwind. All you can do is pedal – it’s good for the calves.
I pedal past the marina. Money seems not to be an issue in this part of town; the houses are huge! In some gardens there’s enough space for an Angus Buchan rally.
I progress at roughly walking speed. You don’t have to worry that a speed freak on a jet ski might knock you over, because everywhere are clear warning signs: “No wake zone. Dead slow.”
Some of the graffiti I read as I pedal under the bridge are “Pelican Kroo” and “UCT 2001”. Further along, residents sit on the river banks with fishing rods, braaiing their catch right there next to them.
After half an hour, when my legs start to hurt, I turn back. It’s good exercise, especially if you’re not very good at paddling.
Cost: R50 for half an hour; R80 for an hour. Contact: Outdoor Focus 046 624 4432
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3. Shop for cheese
About 6 km out of town, in the direction of East London, is a lovely farm stall at the Green Fountain Caravan Resort. If you don’t contain yourself, you might walk out with jars of jam and honey mustard, biltong and a brand-new waistcoat made of springbok hide.
They used to make cheese on the farm, but problems in the dairy industry brought an end to it. There’s still a small stock of their mature Cheddar and they also sell other locally made cheeses.
Green Fountain offers camping, self-catering accommodation, a restaurant and a driving range.
No, not all the way to the Karoo – the Three Sisters are rock formations on the beach near the mouth of the Riet River. The first sister is the smallest, and the easiest to climb. A five-minute walk further, the second and third sister will come into view.
The spectacle of waves crashing onto the rocks is a reminder that Neptune’s home isn’t a playschool.
The rocks, eroded by sand, wind and water, are eerily beautiful. It’s a Tolkienlike, otherworldly landscape.
How do I get there? Drive towards East London and turn off to the Riet River mouth about 11 km out of town. Leave your car at the green gate and walk north-east along the shore for about 20 minutes, where you’ll meet the first sister.
go! says: Wear a pair of sturdy shoes; the path to the beach is gravelly and even the beach itself is hard on bare feet.
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5 Ride a dune!
I’m still trying to get my feet into the straps when the sandboard takes off. Only my left foot is strapped in, but I have to go along for the ride. You can really eat sand when you go sandboarding. Unlike ice skating, you can’t just stop. All you can do is try to fall down as gracefully as possible.
It works like this: You rent a board from Outdoor Focus, where a guide shows you what to do. “You just strap your feet in and try to keep your balance,” Sharon Dacombe told me before directing me to the dunes of East Beach. I have sand in my nose and ears and other places – and decide my first attempt failed because the dune was too small.
I find, however, that size does matter – a bigger dune is only better if your skills are better. My second attempt ends with me doing a backflip at the foot of the big dune. My coccyx is going to remind me of my undignified landing for a few days to come, but I haven’t laughed this much since the day I tripped over my hockey stick at school and took a tumble down the stairs.
Cost: R100 for two hours Contact: Outdoor Focus 046 624 4432
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6. Visit the museum
The Port Alfred Museum has a few interesting exhibits on the history of the town and surrounds.
In one room you can admire GrahamJ Petty’s insect collection – moths, beetles and other bugs pinned to a board with the scientific name annotated beside each one.Two rooms are devoted to displays about the Xhosa nation and the British Settlers of 1820. If you are of Settler stock, they can tell you which ship your forebears came out in.
There is also a big collection of egg cups. (Trivial Pursuit question: What do you call someone who collects egg cups?) * It’s hardly the British Museum, but it should keep you busy for about an hour.
Where: Next to the magistrate’s court in Pascoe Crescent. Cost: R5 per adult and R2 per child. Contact: 04... * Someone who collects egg cups is called “a pocillovist”.
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Get to know the Kowie better.
Go by Canoe. Rent a canoe and explore the Kowie on your own. Cost: R60 for an hour and R50 for a half-hour.
Paddle further.
Tackle the Kowie Canoe Trail. Paddle 21km upriver, sleep over one or two nights, and explore the region on foot. You’ll have to take your own food. Cost: R125 per person per night.
Home is where the anchor is. Rent a houseboat– you don’t need a licence to skipper one. The boat sleeps four (there are two double beds). It has a kitchen with a fridge and stove, and shower facilities. People who’ve done it say it’s almost like a caravan holiday on the water. Cost: R1695 per boat per night in peak season (minimum three nights). Contact: Outdoor Focus ( 046 624 4432 ), which organises just about all outdoor activities in town.
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Port Alfred in a nutshell
Where can I eat?
• Guido’s, which is near the river mouth, is a seafoodand- pizza restaurant with a cheerful atmosphere. 046 624 5264.
• The boardwalk, which also overlooks the water, has, among other things, delicious stews on the menu. 046 624 5778.
• If you’re in the mood for fast food, Port Alfred also has a spur, steers, Wimpy and KfC.
Where can I stay?
• The Halyards Hotel. From R390 per person sharing. 046 604 3300.
• River’s Edge B&B. From R350 per person; R520 for two people sharing a room. 082 401 6359.
How do I get there?
Port Alfred is on the R72 coastal route, about halfway between Port Elizabeth and East London. Take the R72 from the N2 or the R67 south from
Grahamstown.
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